How to Help an Alcoholic Stop Drinking
If the person that you live with wants to stop drinking, you have to help as well. When an alcoholic wants to stop, you have to give up a few things that you may enjoy. The person will need your support when they are trying to stop the drinking and change. This is not easy for the person to do and you have to be the strong one again. You have to offer encouragement and not offer judgment. Judging the alcoholic that is asking for help is not going to work. You have to offer compassion and support. They are not just doing this for themselves. They are doing it for you as well.
Talk with them about what they are doing. This should be done when they are not drinking. You can calmly explain how the drinking is affecting the family. You can tell them how it has affected your children and your own feelings. In most cases, the alcoholic does not even realize what he or she has done to the family. They never take the time to see how their drinking affects anyone. All they know is that they were doing what they wanted to do.
Make sure that the person knows that you will stand by them through this time. This is probably one of the hardest things to do, but if you care about this person, you have to stand by them and offer any support that you can. If they join AA and continue to attend meetings, the 12-step program could bring up some bad memories that you do not want to hear, but you must listen and forgive or at least try. This is the hardest part of the 12-step program. It can bring back some horrible memories that could be very upsetting.
Offer to stop drinking in front of them if you drink. This is important until the alcoholic feels comfortable with what they are accomplishing. If the person is trying to refrain from drinking and attending meetings, you do not want to be drinking in front of him or her. You have to make some changes as well. You cannot sit and drink even a few cocktails in front of them because the urge to drink for them will be strong until they learn how to control those urges. They may have an urge and slip, but you could offer help there as well.
Offer to be with them whenever they feel a need to drink. If they feel the urge to drink coming, you can be there for the person. Make the thoughts and urges go away by offering to go for a walk or to take a ride. If you have never had an addiction, you cannot for a minute understand how the person feels inside. It is hard to control the urge if the person has been drinking for so long. Do something or go to a diner for a few coffees and just talk.
When the person wants to drink, think of something else the two of you could do instead. This is the best thing you could do for someone that wants to quit drinking, but is have problems with it. You have to be strong and offer to listen or just sit and hold their hand. You have to be supportive and do whatever you can to make sure that they have another option to drinking. It is not easy to overcome an addiction, but with your support and the help of a group or treatment, they can succeed.
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Lifestyle Habits that will Assist you with Maintaining a Healthy Mind
Taking care of our body is important because we want to have a long and happy life. Taking care of the mind is equally important and that is why you will find so many messages out there about brain exercises and finding new ways to think. In order to gain the most from these forms of activities though you need to take a close look at your lifestyle habits. If you take part in those that are preventing your brain from being as healthy as possible then now is the time to stop.
Too much stress is very damaging to the brain as a whole. When you are under too much stress you arent going to be able to focus you attention where it needs to be. You will also not be in the best of moods to encourage your mind to develop positive memories from various situations. When you have too much stress your brain produces large amounts of cortisol as well. This can make you feel very sluggish and it can cloud your judgment.
Getting adequate rest is another area where may people dont make the grade. It can be hard to get everything done in a single day that we need to. People tend to take on more and more these days. Yet you do have to take care of your basic needs properly if you want to accomplish anything the next day. A healthy mind starts with getting enough sleep each night. Try to get into a routine of going to sleep at the same time and waking up at the same time each day. This will help your mind to be well rested for what it needs to process when you are awake.
Making a commitment to exercise at least 30 minutes each day is also important. You want to do this for your physical health. However, it is also going to impact your brain and your mental well being. Dont make excuses that you cant find the time to do it. Make sure you know your own fitness level and that you dont go beyond that.
When you take part in physical exercise more oxygen gets to the brain. This will create chemicals that protect the brain cells. As a result you will be less likely to suffer from mental health problems and memory loss. You will also have a better attitude and more energy.
Avoid common harmful activities such as consuming alcohol and smoking cigarettes. Both of them will reduce the amount of oxygen that gets to the brain. As you make a commitment to eliminate such lifestyle choices from your daily routine you will find that your efforts to maintain a healthy mind are going in the right direction.
Take a close and personal assessment of your own habits and lifestyle. Make those changes that need to be in place so that you are going to live a long and healthy life. Too many people dont think these aspects of their live really matter but they definitely do. There is plenty of scientific evidence to show that when these elements arent in place it is harder to maintain a healthy mind. You may be trying your best in some areas but without all of them there will be key pieces of the puzzle missing.
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Do Not Become an Enabler When You Live With an Alcoholic
Enabling an alcoholic to drink, lie or make excuses is not the way to live with an alcoholic. You then become the enabler and make it easy for the alcoholic to drink and hide the things that they should not be doing. You are the one that helps them hide their drinking from others and this gives them complete power over you. If you make it easy for them, you are just hurting them and yourself. If you do not enable them, they have to make the choices that they do. If they are drinking and being unruly, you cannot allow it or live with it.
Do not make it easier for the alcoholic to drink. If you accept the way you live and make excuses for it, you are just going to make things worst. You cannot accept the way things are or want to live that way. You cannot change the alcoholic without them receiving help, but you can make it harder for them to drink and get away with the things that they do. You have to take control of some things, but the person with the problem must be held accountable for their actions.
If you drink, you have to use good judgment when you keep alcohol in the home. If you live with an alcoholic and even if you only drink occasionally, you should not keep alcohol in the home. For one thing, it will disappear and only supply the drinker with more alcohol. It is best to keep all alcohol out of the house. If you want a refreshing drink now and then, you might consider non-alcoholic drinks, which will not be enticing to the alcoholic. You need to police the house when you live with an alcoholic.
Making up stories as to why he or she is drinking does not help anyone including the drinker. If you make excuses and do not let anyone know what is happening, if something would happen, you will have a hard time getting anyone to believe you. You cannot become an enabler for many reasons, but this is a big one. If you are abused or the alcoholic would fall and hurt him or herself, you do not want to be the blame. You have to make them accountable for their own actions and not make any excuses for them.
Urging the alcoholic to have a drink when they are not drinking is not the answer. There are actually some people that do this because they know that the person will eventually pass out and the house will be peaceful. This is not the answer. If the person is not drinking, you should never encourage it. They need to dry out from time to time and this is why they are not drinking. Never offer to buy then alcohol to help them unwind or calm down. They need to learn how to this without alcohol.
Keep the monthly budget instead of giving that job to the alcoholic. If you leave the money to a drinker, chances are that you will have unpaid bills and no money for food on the table, which will make them angry. You should control the money and give them what is left over. They may not agree with this, but you have to insist that you do this to protect your finances. An alcoholic can spend more on alcohol a month then what they have to spend if you let them.
Do not turn your back on the problem. You cannot make excuses or allow the person to use you as a way to hide their problem. You must take steps to make sure that there is not a lot of extra money to drink, but that there is enough money for bills and food. If you work, you should have your own checking account so that you have money in the event the alcoholic in your life takes al of the money he made to drink.
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